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Beyond where clouds no longer appear

In the depths of emptiness, where it feels like I don't belong in this world, the longing for a sense of community and healthy friendships was overwhelming. Facing the fact that I lacked trust, it kept me caged in ways I could not even admit to myself. It is as if you carry the weight of the challenges faced by your ancestors, as if their unresolved stories have become entangled within your own. I will say this, within my spirit resides a resilience and a yearning for the healing I craved on deeper levels than most. This crave for completion, a healing of a deep seeded pain had me pack my bags and go. I could not shake the urge. I could not find the emptiness to transcend it into peace and love. Something was missing deep within me.

I left the US of A and headed to the roots of my father’s bloodline. Ireland. 

Leaving the familiar behind, I embarked on a transformative journey to Ireland. This land, steeped in history and ancient wisdom, beckoned me to discover the missing link that would bring me a sense of completion and wholeness. I couldn’t hide my tears anymore. I couldn’t keep the strength and hide this missing pain from the world. It was affecting all my creations and the attractions that were coming towards me. So many spiritual people that were empty, yet revealing unhealed wounds for me to see. They were me, a reflection at its finest. I couldn’t create with this energy in my greatest work. I can not repeat what is already here on this planet, either. 

I launched my new creation, and hell broke loose. Well, figure of speech. My greatest work requires originality! Everything had to be created with original intention, attention and heart. I just completed a huge release of the past. Who would I be on this planet if I took from the past and decorated it to call it original. It is not my style, nor is it my soul purpose.

As I set foot on Irish soil, I felt a deep connection that reverberated through my core, as if my ancestors were there to greet me, as if they whispered their presence and guidance. It was a very strange, yet peaceful experience. I felt home. The Embrace of Ancestral Wisdom as my journey into the unknow begun.

Nestled in the captivating landscapes of north County Wexford, Ireland, lies the enchanting village of Coolgreany, known in Irish as Cúil Ghréine, meaning "nook of the sun." It was my very first adventure, and from the moment I arrived, I instantly fell head over heels in love with this picturesque destination. It was stunning.

Coolgreany seemed like a hidden gem, as if it were patiently waiting for me to uncover the hidden depths of my own being. Surrounded by fifty shades of green, I embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery. A kind of healing I was unaware of its unwrapping. While Coolgreany was a quiet town, its charm was undeniable. During my stay, I occupied a quaint English cottage, where a remarkable woman became my guide, leading me down a path of culinary delights and the power of a bold red lipstick on a woman. With cups of tea, creamy milk, and a sprinkle of brown sugar, we engaged in countless conversations that expanded my understanding of Ireland's rich culture. It felt as though she was preparing me for the adventure that awaited, an adventure that would span three beautiful months.

The day before my departure from Coolgreany, I shared heartwarming moments with the town's lovely ladies over tea and cake. Amidst their warm hospitality, a nun entered the room, and to my surprise, she came straight to me, exclaiming, "Welcome home. I am so glad to see you back." Despite others trying to correct her, insisting I was merely an American visitor, the nun's words resonated deeply within me. It was then that I realized my soul was unearthing ancient wounds, perhaps from another lifetime, taking me on a profound journey of a new level of healing and growth. After only a week being there, a tinge of sadness began to take over me, prompting me to explore neighboring towns such as the captivating Gorey. OMG!!! I loved Gorey. It was so perfect and full of color. Unfortunately, weather-related complications led to the cancellation of my next planned stay, redirecting my path further north to County Cavan, to be more specific, it led me to a beautiful log cabin home in Kingscourt. 

In Coolgreany, my spirit had been ignited, and now I eagerly embraced the unfolding chapters of my Irish adventure, always ready to follow the path laid out before me. The journey continued, leading me to new landscapes, new experiences, and further exploration of my inner self.

Embracing Healing and Love in Lisagoan, Kingscourt, Ireland. It was everything I needed. Even though my journey on the bus north felt forever. Everything was unfolding as it needed to. As the days turned into weeks, my soul began to intertwine with the very essence of Lisagoan, Kingscourt, County Cavan. It was more than just a picturesque setting; it was a place where community, love, and togetherness swirled all around me.

Each passing day brought new moments of joy and revelation, etching this special place forever in my heart. One of the cherished memories that remains vivid in my mind is the sight of honey jars, lining the little shelf of a small wooden integrity box. A simple note attached, "5 euro each," spoke volumes about the values nurtured within the community. It was as if the sweetness of the honey mirrored the genuine kindness that flowed through the streets of Lisagoan, Kingscourt. Nestled amidst the blanket of green land stood a charming log cabin, emanating a sense of peace and tranquility. It became my sanctuary, my refuge from the chaotic world outside. Upstairs, my room awaited, its windows perpetually open, allowing the fragrant breeze to carry whispers of lavender, lilac, and sweet grass inside. Every inhalation felt like a healing potion, drawing me deeper into this whole new world. The land itself seemed to beckon me with its untouched beauty every morning, urging me to lace up my running shoes and explore its vast expanse.

Tears would stream down my face as I surveyed miles and miles of my kind of 50 shades of green. It was during those runs, surrounded by nature's embrace, that I discovered the true power of healing. The energy of the land resonated within me, enveloping my soul with a sense of peace and renewal. But as much as the land held my heart, it was the people of Kingscourt who forever changed me. Every morning, we would gather around a table, sharing the simple pleasures of coffee, toast and jam, and great conversations. It was in those moments of togetherness that I witnessed the true beauty of this place. The bonds forged within these walls were not just about nourishment for the body but nourishment for the soul. Immersing myself in the everyday workings of this charming bed and breakfast, I found a deep sense of joy in service. Like a child discovering the world anew, I threw myself into learning the intricacies and nuances of running this haven.

It was a labor of love, driven by the sheer delight of seeing guests' smiles and hearing their contentment.

In moments like these, I realized that this level of care, community, and genuine connection was something truly unique to Kingscourt. It was an experience that touched me in ways I had never experienced before, especially back home in America. Within the warm embrace of Kingscourt, my heart also found a different kind of love. It was a love that transcended the physical, delving into the realms of deep healing and fulfillment. This love spoke to the remaining fractals of hidden emptiness within me, nurturing and filling the void with its gentle touch. It was a love that came not from another person, but from the pure essence of this special place. Kingscourt had become a balm for my soul, mending wounds I didn't even know was still existing with me. As my time in Kingscourt came to an end, my heart felt heavy with gratitude and a profound sense of clarity. It was here, in this small corner of the world, that my purpose crystallized and locked in. The experiences, the love, the healing—it all merged into a profound understanding of my own creation and the gift I had to offer the world.

Kingscourt had given me the space and the perspective to lock in my "why" and set it aflame with passion. I started building more fiercely into my project. The fear of it being accepted was gone. Though I had to bid farewell to Kingscourt physically, its spirit remained forever intertwined with my being. It would forever hold a cherished place in my heart. The memories of love and togetherness that swirled all around me would continue to inspire, uplift, and guide me on my journey. For it was here, in Lisagoan, Kingscourt, County Cavan where my soul truly met life. I am grateful! 

I set out on a thrilling expedition to Dublin, Galway, the Cliffs of Moher, Aaron Island, and the Kylemore Abbey – each site revealing the veiled splendors of the Emerald Isle. Following that, I ventured to the County of Mayo, where my ancestors found their eternal rest. This homecoming stirred bittersweet emotions within me, evoking tears and granting me a profound understanding of my roots. Nestling in Donegal, Ireland, I found solace on Achill Island, taking refuge in a quiet cottage near the enchanting Silver Strand. I ended my journey in County Wicklow, the experience was nothing short of exquisite! Ireland has captured my heart and undoubtedly, part of me will always belong there.

Will I return? Certainly. Will I remain? That remains in the hands of destiny.

Below, I share a moment of sheer bliss and rejuvenation captured during my sojourn.